I landed with a strange feeling as if i never left, as if i always lived here, but also as if my home is still London, with the feeling that i was divided into 2 people, with different bodies, different languages, different goals, different thoughts, but one heart.
Then - people, waiting in a small airport, waiting for their kids, parents, loved ones to get out through the narrow door.. flowers, kisses, hugs, hellos. I didn't see anyone meeting me, so i felt glad that at least one time i will have some time to look around and to go "home" alone. Then near the exit i noticed my brother (or let's say the truth - it was he who stopped me), and I was glad to see him. No flowers, now hugs, no tears - just a quiet 'how are you, missed you'..
after 2.5 hours of sleep - 6.30am - bus station. People, waiting for the buses, some still drunk after last night, some already having beer next to the kiosk, cleaners, queues, voices announcing arrivals and departures, pigeons looking for sunflower seeds, old russian face woman, collecting 50p near entrance to the WC, someone sleeping on the bench outside, bags, more bags...
After 5 hrs drive through lithuanian lanscape (yellow fields, green fields, forest, more fields, lakes, narrow rivers almost dissapearing in the green, small wooden houses, almost destroyed by the time but still dear home to some old lonely women) - the sea..
First what I feel - changing air. Just after crossing the lake, it becomes dry, and smells pinetrees. Dry grass, mixed with sand, trees - all leaning one direction because of the wind from the sea side. Beach is almost empty, and I sit down facing sea, fingers deep in the hot sand. Quiet - even sea doesn't talk today, neither wind. as if everything holding it's breath. Long walk, feet in the water, wet bottom of the skirt, stones and sand massaging the feet, tired of concrete.
i know - if the sea is calm - then the lake will be opposite. And when i see it -i know i was right - it is rough, fights with the fishermen's boats, talks, cries, spits pieces of old wood and nets, only seagulls know how to tame it... Dunes of Nida are dying, giving away it's sand for the lake.. and lake brings it out in another place, here, 9 km away from Nida..Sand travels and sees the different places like that..
One of the things I always do there- in the night time, when all normal people are asleep, sit down by the lake, on the old piece of wood, that works as a bench alerady for 10 years, and watch the falling stars (how childish is that?:). It is a funny feeling - lake in the night time becomes invisible, like a black hole, or maybe the endless wall - and it joins with the same black sky- and it seems that you sit at the edge of the earth. Where nothing is behind. If you will step one meter ahead - you will fall down.
2 creatures, that knows everything about me - the sand of the dunes, and the lake. I am travelling and they are staying there, charged with my thoughts, memories, impressions. They are like a safe - i put something there, and i always can come back to take it.
I give them part of me, and they always give me back the strengh i need.
Posts
